So, you thought you were getting a parenting manual when you had a kid, right? Then you discovered the manuals only exist in the alternative universe. One where unicorns roam freely, dishes wash themselves, and kids actually enjoy eating broccoli. Instead, you’re stuck here on Planet Parent, trying to figure it all out as you go along.

Now throw in the term ‘neurodivergent’, and you might feel a bit lost. But what is neurodivergent and why should you care? Well, it’s a term encompassing a broad range of people who think a little bit differently. It’s often applied to Autistic people and those with ADHD. Neurodivergent people think, feel, and process things differently. They mostly just want to be understood. And accepted.

So, when you’re a parent to one or more neurodivergent children, you’re going to have to understand A LOT. And in doing so, you’ll learn a great deal about yourself. Also, you’ll become a better version of yourself.

Let me first say, you can do this. Of course, it’s not always easy. There will be times when you’re frustrated, confused, and even scared. But there will also be times when you’re amazed, inspired, and humbled.

You will have to learn to manage the extremely delicate balance of stimulation levels. Under or overstimulated and you’re in trouble. Keep it just right, and you’re golden! Except your kid won’t want to throttle the fun. Which means overstimulation is always just around the corner. Good luck!

So, here’s a short primer! We’re here to share the 10 biggest differences you’ll encounter when parenting a neurodiverse child.

1. Welcome to the Roller Coaster of Emotions

Parenting any child is like riding a roller coaster blindfolded – exhilarating one moment and absolutely terrifying the next. But parenting a neurodiverse child? Well, that’s more like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. Backwards. Upside down. With no seat restraint. It comes with its unique ups and downs. There may be more challenges, but the victories? They’re also that much sweeter.

2. Forget Google Translate, You Need a Magic Decoder Ring

Communication can take on a completely different meaning with a neurodiverse child. Forget learning French, Mandarin, or Klingon. You’ll be learning to understand your child’s unique way of expressing themselves. It’s like deciphering a secret code like Alan Turing cracking the Enigma machine. Also, it can change based on the situation. You might want to start a journal.

3. Routine is Your New Best Friend

While most kids thrive on routine, neurodiverse kids don’t just thrive, they depend on it. Routine offers a sense of security in a world that can often feel chaotic and unpredictable to them. So, parents, wave goodbye to spontaneity and say hello to your new, predictably scripted life. Pro-tip – cue your kids well in advance about any upcoming changes. Prepare them ahead of time to limit the impact.

4. Everything is Magnified

Sensory processing can be very different for neurodiverse children. What seems like a minor annoyance to you can be an overwhelming ordeal for them. It’s like living in a world where everything is magnified to the nth degree – all day, every day. Sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? Be prepared for extreme reactions to seemingly innocuous stimuli.

5. Patience Isn’t Just a Virtue, It’s a Survival Tool

If you thought you knew the meaning of patience before, parenting a neurodiverse child will redefine it for you. From coping with meltdowns to explaining the same instruction a dozen times, you’ll learn to cultivate the patience of a snail racing against a glacier.

6. The Adventure of Social Navigation

Social interactions that seem intuitive to neurotypical children can feel like navigating a labyrinth for neurodiverse kids. It’s like being thrust into an elaborate ballroom dance without knowing the steps. Parents end up becoming dance instructors, gently guiding their child through the waltz of social interaction. Prepare yourself for the sadness you’ll feel watching your child struggle. They won’t understand why people don’t think they way they do.

7. Labels and Judgements: Like Parenting Needs More Pressure

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of stigma and misunderstanding around neurodiversity. So, in addition to the regular parenting challenges, you also get to deal with unsolicited advice, judgments, and labels. It’s like winning the lottery, but instead of cash, you get a basket of unwanted opinions. Just remember, they don’t have the first hand experience you do, and know nothing about your kid.

8. The Importance of Self-Care: Yes, It’s Okay to Prioritize You!

Parenting a neurodiverse child requires a lot of energy, which means it’s even more important for parents to take care of themselves. Think of it as putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others. Yes, you might feel guilty at first, but trust me, a well-rested, calm parent is a better parent.

9. Your Support Network Might Shrink, but It Will Strengthen

You might lose friends who don’t understand your child’s behaviour or your new parenting approach. But you’ll also gain new friends – those who understand your journey and offer real support. It’s like shedding the loose change and finding the diamonds.

10. Celebrating Small Victories Becomes a Way of Life

With a neurodiverse child, progress may seem slow, and milestones may look different than you expected. But every small achievement becomes a cause for celebration. It’s like throwing a party because your kid ate a new food or had a playdate without a meltdown. So, start blowing up those balloons! One step back, two steps forward is ok!

So there you have it, folks. Parenting a neurodiverse child is a journey filled with its own unique challenges and joys. But remember, no matter how different the parenting journey may be, one thing remains the same – the unconditional love you have for your child. And at the end of the day, that’s really what matters. Remember, we’re all just trying to do our best on this crazy roller coaster ride called parenthood!

Here are some additional tips for parenting a neurodivergent child:

Educate yourself about neurodiversity. The more you know about neurodivergent brains, the better equipped you’ll be to understand your child’s needs.

Be patient and understanding. It takes time to learn how to parent a neurodivergent child. Don’t expect to be an expert overnight.

Be flexible. Things won’t always go according to plan. Be prepared to adjust your expectations as needed.

Seek out support. There are many resources available to help you and your child. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Raising a neurodivergent child can be challenging. But it is also incredibly rewarding. By following these tips, you can help your child reach their full potential and live a happy and fulfilling life.

Here are some resources that can help:

The National Autism Association: https://www.nationalautismassociation.org/

The CHADD Foundation: https://www.chadd.org/

The Learning Center: https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/resources-and-tips-for-students-with-adhdld/

The Understood website: https://www.understood.org/

The Raising Children Network website: https://raisingchildren.net.au/

I hope this helps!